Category Archives: sitting

No Buddhists, only Buddha

The first Buddha whom modern Buddhism is based on was a regular human being. He searched and searched for the answers. Then he sat.

And he awoke.

My question is: If he was a normal human being, and he awoke by sitting, why do we think we need to do any differently?

And if he got where he was going — which is where so many of us want to go — by not searching, by not chasing, just by stopping and paying attention… why do we search and chase after what teachers promise to teach us, in hopes of getting what he got?

Why do we search and chase after what he said and did and taught?

At all?

If we human beings awake — truly awake — by cutting out interruptions and distractions and having regular direct contact with All That Is, why would we even bother with the teachers, the scriptures, the teachings, the dogmas, the discussions, the critiques… ?

If we awaken by listening to our own hearts… why ask another to tell us what is in our heart? Shouldn’t we develop that listening skill ourselves?

If we awaken by being present with What Is, right in front of us, here and now… why spend our too limited time looking for someone who will direct our attention to what that may be? Shouldn’t we get in the habit of getting real and just being honest with ourselves?

Why not just pay attention to what truly works, and what doesn’t, and then try again next time?

If we awaken by having direct contact with that which is around us… why would we for a moment spend what little precious time that we have, re-routing our attention away from our direct experience… over to a teacher… and then back to our experience?

We are so often deluded, that’s for sure. And we tend to need help, sorting things out.

But it seems to me that good energy, active direct experience, and a sincere willingness and diligence about awakening would be no less of a path than studying and following the teachings of other human beings who seem to think (or at least have been told) they’ve got it all sorted out.

The path of Living What Truly Is, without dogmas, without trappings, without theories, is just different from the established path.

But it’s still good.

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The two-fold path

 

I’m sure plenty of other people have written, thought, talked, and meditated about this in the past, but it occurred to me the other day after a “sit”.

Essentially, I am on a two-fold path — the path of DOing, and the path of BEing.

The two paths do not diverge for me

Many other people have different definitions of “The two-fold path”. This is mine:

1. DOing – The path of being active and engaged in all the details of my life.

2. BEing – The path of knowing just who I am and what I am.

It’s been my experience that sitting and meditation are often associated with the BEing part of things.

We sit in order to realize the truth of our nature.

We sit in order to BEcome enlightened, awakened, or just less prone to suffering.

It seems a bit passive, and that’s not always helpful for me.

Reading Shosan, I am struck by the strong DOing aspect of his version of zen. Nio Zen. The zen of the fierce guardians, the protectors, the DO-ers at the temple gates, who vanquish evil spirits.

He exhorts his students — everyone, really — to cultivate their ki, to have buoyant spirits, and to approach their practice with a vengeful spirit. At least, that’s what comes through to me, after centuries of space between us, and who knows how many translations and re-interpretations…

To BE the energy of the Nio, and to DO your work with that energy.

This seems to combine a BEing with a DOing, and it appeals to me very much.

I like it, so I do it.

My sit today was very much about staying focused, staying alert, being “on point” and holding my attention and my posture firmly in position. A few times I slacked — that happens.

Then I came back to where I wanted to be.

These things take time. They take practice. If I didn’t need to practice, I probably wouldn’t be doing it in the first place 😉

So, I do it.

BEing.

DOing.

And as I write this, I am keenly aware of my posture, my focus, and the encouragement of Shosan to practice in any circumstances, especially difficult ones… to stay engaged in life and incorporate zazen into one’s daily activities, no matter how pedestrian they may seem.

So BEing supports DOing.

And vice-versa.

Which is good.

 

 

 

This month, I am returning to my sitting practice.

I have been away from it for a while, which happens with me, now and then. I’ve been sitting zazen since 1991, when I first learned about it and was taught by an old unofficial zen master who lived out on the land a few hours from where I grew up. I really took to it, because it was a common-sense extension of my meditative / contemplative practice, which was starting to take on a broader, more spiritually inclusive and ecumenical feel.

sitting-hands

I have sat with intention since that time.

My personal pattern since 1991 is that I’ll sit daily for some weeks or months — sometimes for 5 minutes, sometimes for 15… sometimes only once a day, sometimes twice or three times. And it’s good. Then, for some unaccountable reason, I’ll stop.

Just stop.

And go do other things.

I get busy looking into what life has to offer me. Or I feel like just sitting is not what I need to be doing with myself for a while.

And I do other things.

Then I come back. Because I’m getting too reactive to things that I know are fleeting and will pass. Or I’m feeling off-kilter and getting pulled out of whack by everybody else’s stuff. Or I really need a sense of silent focus in the midst of crazy-busy times. Or I just miss it.

The times that are crazy-busy are the times when I benefit most from taking the time to sit. I can spare the time. Especially when I think I can’t spare it.

That’s how things are right now.

Things are just a little bit nuts at work. Everyone is in a state of turmoil, and I’m no exception at times. I know that my state of mind is not helping matters any. There is a lot of static flying around — gossip and politicking and undermining in the face of organizational upheaval. There are a million different things that can — and do — pull me off balance and really trash my cool. And I know full well, it’s because I’m not completely centered… not convinced in my heart that all is Well, and that all things — including this — are fleeting and will pass.

So, I’m sitting.

Whenever I can. In the morning when I wake up, before I get into my day… either counting or simply sitting.

During the day, when I can step away and just sit and breathe for 37 breaths.

In the evening before I go to sleep… sitting cross-legged on the pillows on my bed, the comforter pulled around me snug — because it’s still cold… breathing and sitting and counting, and just letting the day fall away to make room for the present.

I sit.

It reminds me of who I am, of what I am.

It reminds me that nothing that happens outside of me is actually responsible for my inner state of mind, heart, body, and spirit.

It reminds me that at the core of my being there is a glowing coal of ecstatic wholeness that burns steadily and cannot be extinguished, even though I may allow it to be covered up by the many layers of anxiety, stress, strain, uncertainty, distrust, and plain old poor habits of thought and action.

It reminds me that I can peel away those layers — just let them go — and find once again the Truth of who and what I am, always have been, and always shall be.

And it is good.